Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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