After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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