she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
