I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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