Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
