Your dad touched me again.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
