Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
