sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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