you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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