When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
