hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
