Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
