anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
