The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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