remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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