Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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