And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
