I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
