The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
