Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I believe in your delicious
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
