jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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