i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
