she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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