I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
