so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
