Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
