I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
