sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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