we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize