Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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