Whod you bang
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
im on a boat
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