I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
