Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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