I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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