She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
