Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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