saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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