u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
