you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
