You smell like a Billy Joel song
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
