I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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