If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
