"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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