then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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