Define "chronic" masturbator.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
