we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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