Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
