Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
