The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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