He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i now understand why vodka
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
