I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
