Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
