we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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