haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
send nudes
from the living room?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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