Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
