nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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