Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I smell stomach acid.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
