It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
