12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
