my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
