i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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