no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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